It was glorious.
To be sure, it wasn't perfect -- the predominantly white crowd was disconcerting, the overwhelming focus on reproductive rights instead of other issues pressing in black and brown communities such as police brutality, mass incarcerations, voting rights and immigration -- was a disappointment.
We were not all marching to "take back our vaginas" or donning those silly "pink pussyhats," especially considering many black women are not pink at all. After similar objections raised by trans women and gender nonbinary folks, many are ditching those hats this year. Some women I spoke with in Los Angeles even opposed abortion, or had voted for Trump, they admitted. Nevertheless, that day we bonded, all seeking a more equal nation, even though we had differing views on how to get there.
No doubt that inaugural march was a catalyst for the record-setting number of women who ran for political office last year -- 476 ran as Democrats or Republicans in primaries across the nation -- with 117 women winning congressional seats (100 Democrats, 17 Republicans). Incredible, considering those figures don't even include the record number of women who ran for state and local offices.
Definite progress. But sadly, as the third Women's March approaches, my belief that it can continue to be a catalyst for change is dwindling. My original concerns over inclusion, especially of issues that affect black and brown communities, have festered and deepened. Yet rather than working together to develop a deeper diversity of ideologies, or to build on the common concerns we share, the conversation has deteriorated into bullying, public shaming and demands for apologies. Splinter groups have formed to represent the needs of women of color and others.
In New York, the differences are so deep that two marches will be held 50 blocks apart -- one led by the national Women's March group based in Washington, the other by Women's March Alliance, a grassroots New York group. Accusations of racial bias and anti-Semitism are flying.
Some Jewish leaders are troubled by the pro-Palestine position of Linda Sarsour, a co-founder of the national group, who favors sanctions and a boycott against Israel for its government's treatment of nearly 3 million Palestinians in the West Bank. They further are angered that another national co-founder, Tamika Mallory, will not denounce Louis Farrakhan, the Nation of Islam leader, for his hateful remarks against Jews.
Still, other Jewish leaders and those in the LGBTQ community defend Mallory and Sarsour and say they are not anti-Semites. Meanwhile, Mallory has repeatedly condemned bigotry and anti-Semitism, but she refuses calls to denounce Farrakhan personally and credits him with doing positive work in the black community -- a feeling not uncommon among blacks, Muslim and non-Muslim alike.
It's a touchy issue on all sides, but for me at least the angry criticisms of Mallory and Sarsour feel condescending when made by privileged white women and celebrities such as Alyssa Milano -- who also called for Mallory to denounce Farrakhan. Too often, these voices seem more interested in promoting their own celebrity than putting in the unglamorous, difficult work necessary to bridge ideological and cultural differences women face.
Most women I know fight for freedom and equality because we are tired of being dictated to, tired of being told how to think, feel, live or love. We do not want our destiny or our worth defined by others -- men, or women.
Growing up as a Christian with an extended Muslim family, I understand how religious differences can break apart a family. And consequently, I know everyone suffers when that happens.
No matter where you fall on the issues -- whether you decide to march, or stay home as I will this year -- one thing is clear: None of this bullying, or de-humanizing call-out culture get women closer to realizing our full equality.
I have a dream that one day women will put aside the things that divide us -- race, class, religion, politics, gender identity -- to focus on the larger goal of full equality. I'm praying one day we'll end the self-defeating litmus test we demand before declaring our sisters worthy of respect based on how they look, pray, love or even vote. There's little point fighting for equality if we only seek to limit and devalue woman with the same tactics men have used for centuries.
The dissension in the Women's March groups and the issues that we face inside the movement are real, but we can find compassionate, inclusive ways to respect our differences and rise together.
Our futures depend on it. Our fates are connected. Let's not get distracted, again.
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