By contrast, nine members of a fraternity at Louisiana State University were arrested Tuesday, accused of involvement in violent incidents of hazing. This comes on the heels of several widely publicized cases at other schools in recent years, most notably at Penn State, where sophomore Timothy Piazza died in 2017 after consuming 18 drinks in less than 90 minutes and sustaining a brain injury during fraternity hazing rituals.
Which of these visions of fraternities -- and all-male institutions more broadly -- is the real one?
According to CNN readers, it's both.
CNN Opinion recently published an op-ed by Alexandra Robbins, the author of "Pledged," an in-depth look at sorority life, and a new book, "Fraternity," which turns a similar lens on young men. Robbins argues that 21st-century, post-#MeToo efforts toward gender equality too often conflate fraternities with the toxic masculinity that she says many of them actively work to disrupt by giving young men an outlet for friendship and vulnerability.
We wanted to know what you think, so we included a call-out to readers to write in with their own experiences and opinions about fraternities and about the slogans, "Boys will be boys," and "Smash the patriarchy." And weigh in you did, with commentary that ran the gamut, from fraternity alums across generations to a single mom raising her son in a world too filled with gender violence.
You also focused on the matter of single-sex institutions, especially in education. It's one that continues to challenge all of us, even two decades after Ruth Bader Ginsburg was part of a 1996 US Supreme Court majority mandating that Virginia Military Institute could no longer exclude women from its cadet classes. Though she argued that any "unique educational benefit" provided by the state of Virginia to her sons must also be available to her daughters, Ginsburg had been in a sorority at Cornell University -- another example of the issue's complexity.
Thank you to everyone who weighed in. Here is a sampling of your responses. Some have been lightly edited for clarity and flow. All views belong to the authors.
A fraternity enriched my life
I was a shy college student at the University of Iowa. I joined a fraternity that brought me out of my shell, got me involved in campus activities, gave me the opportunity to meet my future wife, met fraternity brothers who encouraged me to join ROTC, and have lifelong friends that have enriched my life in countless ways.
Rod VanSurksum, Minnesota
I am a woman, and I see nothing wrong with male institutions
I am a bit biased because I am currently involved in Greek life, however, whenever a story comes out about a fraternity member assaulting another student, the reports will always include that he was in a fraternity. Recently, I cannot recall his name, but every media outlet started off by addressing him as "Former fraternity president..." Assault happens a lot on campuses, too often, but not every single one is done by a fraternity member. When a Stanford swimmer brutally assaulted another student, it didn't change everyone's perception of swimmers as a whole. I'd like to note that I am a woman. I see nothing wrong all-male institutions. I also think that a lot of fraternity men have stepped up in recent years and begun understanding that they were not only part of the problem, but part of the solution. I truly believe that many are realizing that becoming a better man means helping women. In personal experience, I have seen fraternity members go as far as hosting an event for sexual assault awareness and ditch the stereotypes we all have previously known.
Malea Fischer, Chicago
My single-sex education helped me cultivate emotional intelligence
For me, this idea of expressing emotion wasn't really accepted until later in life, when I attended an all-boys Jesuit-run Catholic high school. In theology classes, we would journal every day and examine our relationships with our family, friends, God, and with ourselves, and reflect on that. We were taught that you are part of a community and you should be trying to make your community better. I found that my experience in an all-male institution helped me to cultivate emotional intelligence, emotional maturity, and emotional vulnerability. I recall instances when we were encouraged to open up to each other, look out for each other, and hold each other accountable.
In college, I joined a fraternity, mostly because of the value I found in being in an all-male institution. While my fraternity didn't necessarily say, "Hey, let's sit down and talk," those opportunities did arise, and because I had those experiences in high school, I was able to help my brothers, and they in turn were able to help me.
Bryan Castillo, Erie, Colorado
I'm a single mom of a son working in sexual and domestic violence prevention. This is an important topic
I attended a small Southern women's college in the 1980s, often traveling to the nearby all-male colleges for fraternity parties and sporting events. In retrospect, some of what I encountered at those parties was sexual assault (we didn't know much about it then, nor about our options). I now work in the sexual and domestic violence prevention field. I have raised my son to have a clear understanding of boundaries, respect, consent, and privilege. Furthermore, he had been badly bullied in middle school (as the little Jewish boy from private school who was new in the public middle school), so the phrase, "Boys will be boys," resonates with me as the least appropriate thing you can say -- to anyone. Lastly, I do not believe the patriarchy can be smashed, but hope that in time it will be diminished as each generation's understanding of it grows and tolerance for it lessens. Thank you for covering this important topic. Many of the sexual assault victims we encounter are from our local university, and the overwhelming sense of entitlement to take or control another's body is still rampant among our youth.
Randi T., Richmond, Virginia
I believe more adult supervision is required
I joined a fraternity after my first quarter of college. I didn't go into college thinking this would be something I would be interested in. However, my first quarter allowed me to see that the internal social network of the school was centered around the Greek system, and it seemed to be a great way for me to grow outside my comfort zone. While we did have a pledge period, I would not call what we experienced "hazing." However, I know that the dynamic of a particular chapter can morph many times over the years, and in current years, my old chapter has experienced problems. I think it is difficult to paint with a broad brush against the entire Greek system. My experience was completely positive, and I am still tight friends with many of my fraternity brothers since graduating in 1990. It was in the fraternity that I did my first act of community service volunteering. It was the first time I went to church, after a member routinely offered to organize a trip for those interested. It was where I first took on a leadership position. Undoubtedly, the combination of men, under 25, away from the parents, getting together in a group is often a volatile combination. Add alcohol and then add large amounts, there is the potential for idiocy to follow. That applies whether it is a fraternity, sports team, travelling debate team, etc. While I don't know the answer, I do question the thought of abandoning organizations like the one I was in, who have been together since the Civil War. I believe more adult supervision is required, more accountability needed and positive mentorship lacking.
Chris Cates, Nashville
A college freshman weighs in
I am a member of Alpha Kappa Lambda, Lambda Chapter. I am a freshman in college, and already this fraternity has done more for me than any organization or social grouping I have ever been involved in. I have a family, dedicated to bettering ourselves and each other. Membership has provided me opportunities to be a leader both in the chapter and in the community. Without this fraternity, I don't believe I would find myself on the same track for success I am on today.
Mason Nicks, Emporia, Kansas
Being a man should be something to be proud of
I pledged a college fraternity in 1981, after spending four years at an all-boys, private military academy. It is absolutely correct that horrific abuses have taken place in fraternities, literally throughout their history. The other side of the story is so frequently overlooked: that most fraternities provide a positive, lifelong experience for their members. Should boys be boys? Of course they should, just as girls should be girls, a fact that our increasingly androgynous society seems to overlook. The sad reality is that many boys have no one to show them how to be a man. Being a MAN is a thing to be proud of, not ashamed of. As a volunteer alumnus for my fraternity, I gathered together a group of our undergraduates soon after the tragic death of a young man at Penn State. I asked them why that young man died: What killed him? They gave a variety of answers about "the cause of death," but they all missed the mark. I told them that young Tim Piazza died because of a lack of leadership and courage. That is what we do at our fraternity: teach boys how to be young men -- men of courage, principle and gentlemen of honor. What could be more valuable and necessary?
David B., Williamsport, Pennsylvania
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